A new nurse stood in front me me. Tears welling up in her wide eyes. We stood near an IV pump precariously hanging on the pole, the tubing clutched in her hand. “ What am I going to do when you leave?” She asked. “I know this is hard right now.” I said. “Let’s practice again.” Donna grabbed the tubing and worked toward inserting it into the pump with shaking hands. I placed my hand on hers stopping her progress for a minute. “Take a deep breath” I encouraged. Donna closed her eyes, inhaled and exhaled. “Unfortunately in this profession there are going to be people who want you to be faster, smarter, more friendly, or less friendly.” I sighed “the list continues. But Donna, you can only be one thing, and that is yourself”. She let go of the tubing and stepped toward me wrapping her arms around me without caution. I accepted the embrace. “You are going to be great, you just have to believe it.”
Unfortunately, Donna had become the talk of the unit. She’s too slow other nurses were saying. I don’t think she’s ever going to get it. When Donna asked if I would work with her for a few days and management agreed to it, the problem was clear. Donna was not inept. She was afraid and with each nudge to do it faster and better from other nurses the slower and more nervous she got. She needed encouragement. She needed to be told she was learning and growing and that someday she would be the one encouraging a new nurse.
I did not get the opportunity to witness the trajectory of Donna’s career. I moved on in my own and we did not stay connected. Yet, I will never forget her. I have stepped into her shoes many times over the last 8 years as a nurse. I have had nurses tell me I need be better and faster and I have had nurses give me grace and patience. When I see a student nurse, or a new grad, I remember the importance of affirmation. I can only hope that other nurses remember that they were new once too and to save a little piece of that feeling.
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